This is basically a stream of consciousness post. There will be plenty of bits to pick apart. Sometimes, I just feel a need to write things out and hopefully get some feedback from anyone who reads it.
I believe I deserve the life I have. I take chances. I try and better myself every day. I try and treat people with love and kindness. And, as it currently stands, I have a comfortable life. I have a place to live. I have a partner and two beautiful kids. We can pay our bills and put a little bit of money away each month. We have our struggles, but it's... a nice life.
However, what I don't believe is that I deserve anything I have more than anyone else. I don't believe my life was entirely my own doing, but mostly a set of circumstances set up for me before I had taken my first breath. Billions of little moments, moments I had absolutely no say in, that have put me in this comfortable position.
Maybe there isn't actually a distinction here. It's possible that believing you deserve anything in life is the antithesis of accepting your own existence as a cosmic coincidence. Can you believe you deserve anything if nothing about you is your own doing? Are we even responsible for the people we become?
In a previous post I discussed the idea that Free Will Doesn’t Exist:
and if that’s the case, ascribing any level of meaning to what you’ve been given in life is foolhardy at best. I do believe there's a difference between acknowledging your circumstances in life while feeling deserving of it and believing you deserve the things in your life more than another. The good or the bad.
Which brings up a point we’ve failed to dig into. So far, I've been discussing the idea of deserving in a positive light, but the opposite is also true. People believe they deserve a life riddled with pain. That they are not deserving of a better life in this world because they are lesser than. But these thoughts are also a result of circumstance instead of any actions they've taken that would allow any reasonable person to believe they don't deserve better.
We all deserve a good life. Our definitions of what constitutes a good life can vary, but surely there must be some baseline level of comfort and security we could all agree on, no? It’s always easy to look at people you consider above your station and wish for more, but when you really look at your own life, do you feel lucky? Do you feel as though the uncontrollable circumstances of your existence put you in a comfortable place?
Those of us whose circumstances granted us a “good life” are not more deserving than someone whose circumstances pushed that hope away. We are not defined by what's been given to us but what we give to others. Give each other hope. Give each other love. Give each other a chance to look past ones circumstances.