Why “I did…” Will Always Be More Inspirational Than “I’m going to do…”
Attempts trump desires in life and in stories
Attempts trump desires in life and in stories
Have you seen the movie about a young guy who dreams about a career in Hollywood, but instead decides to become an accountant?
Well, aside from this work of fiction being nonexistent, it wouldn’t make for a very captivating story, would it? A story about a dream without any action is not an interesting one. However, if the story becomes about the choices being made to accomplish a dream, well, now you’ve got a story!
I am a dreamer. The world in my head is much different than the one I live in every day. I also like to share my thoughts and dreams with other people. Starting a new project? I’m the one with my head in clouds and telling everyone about how it’s going to look once it’s successful. About to go on a diet? The person I see in the mirror has already got those abs.
Beyond being a terrible way to stick to your goals, telling people the end of the story without the struggles, doesn’t inspire.
It was a long time before I understood why people weren’t as excited about my dreams as I was. I couldn’t figure out why a story about what I was going to accomplish was received with so much less enthusiasm than one about a goal I’d completed, even if the completed goal was much less exciting than the potential outcome of the dream scenario.
In hindsight it’s obvious. Dreams are boring to everyone beyond the person having them.
People like their stories with an arc. Even though it’s nice to see a story wrapped up, there’s a reason that great novels have an exciting climax that happens before the end of the book. For me, finishing the last few chapters of a book is more about a feeling of completion than a feeling of necessity to see how the story ends. My excitement for the story starts to wane after the pivotal moment.
The more someone sees themselves in the journey being told, the more engaged they’ll be with the work. A story of “I’m going to…” doesn’t provide the inspiration. It skips out on all the obstacles and the improvised workarounds that get someone to their goal. The parts of the story that, in the moment, feel like they are hindering the excitement of the story actually end up being the inspiring parts.
When it comes to “I did” stories, whether you failed or succeeded isn’t as important as how you ended up there. In fact, a story that includes a failed attempt is often a more interesting one. Hearing about the struggles that lead someone to a conclusion allows you to connect to them. You might be in a similar situation as they once were.
You still need to have the dreams in the first place, but maybe just wait on sharing the details until you’ve taken the first step in making your dreams a reality. You’ll find a much more captive audience.
The best example out there are of people who understand the power of “I did…” are life coaches and gurus. And the rise of social media sure has given them a platform! But the good ones are great story tellers. They’ve learned the ability to share the struggle and the dream, all while packaging it into something that makes you feel like it can be yours.
But the key to a successful guru lies in their “I did..” moments. They were broke, then they started investing in real estate and now own homes nationwide. They were obese and then they started working out and now they operate a chain of gyms. As Drake likes to say, “started from the bottom, now we here”. People are not going to listen to someone who walks out on stage and says, “I started in life this successful and haven’t really done anything to change my status or course of action.” They may have realized your dreams, but it feels unobtainable because there’s no “I did…” that you can latch on to and understand.
If you are looking to make an impact with your story or your life, be comfortable with the the fact that what “I’m going to do…” is uninspiring. Keep the dream as a footnote, not the centrepiece.